Author: TheDon McCoy

HOW MUCH DO YOU ASSUME?

WHEN THINKING OF YOURE RELATIONSHIPS

AND THE ISSUES THEY MAY HAVE

HOW MUCH DO YOU ASSUME

HOW THEY ACTUALLY FEEL

ABOUT YOU

ABOUT THEIR SIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION

SPEAKING ABOUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT

AND NOT THE WEATHER

ARE YOUR FEELINGS WORTH THE LOSS

OF THE RELATIONSHIP

IS YOUR HEART SO CLOSED

THAT YOU WOULD RATHER FEEL SADNESS

AND PAIN

AND SORROW

FOR THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION

LETTING GO IS THE ACT

OF HAVING THOSE CONVERSATIONS

AND IF THE OTHER PERSON CANNOT

ENGAGE YOU FULLY FROM THEIR HEART

KNOW YOU HAVE TRIED

THEN LET GO.

We define our lives by how we handle the mistakes we make along the way

We can be either blind to our errors

Or we can be curious about what has come from them and learn

Growth is an intention

When we choose not to grow

And learn

Our souls die a little bit each time

We learn through hardship

We learn from pain and loss

We choose to grow when

We work through our pain

Depression happens when we can’t or won’t do the work

In the end

To be happy

We need to face and work through the sadness and pain

For our souls, it is a choice of life or death

Please choose well…

The demon stood so near I could smell his putrid breath

Evil words spewed from his mouth as slime soaked rotten teeth clacked

‘this is the only way’

‘It has always been the only way’

His words sank deep into my belly

His voice had rotted my soul years ago

Or was it decades?

‘you need more’

‘remember yesterday?’

‘your craving is crying out to you’

I fell from my bed

The dirty sheets and blanket following me to the floor

I lay there, the smell of urine and filth filled me

Raising to my knees, I saw the needle sitting on my nightstand

It wasn’t empty

‘you don’t remember filling it?’

‘I did it for you, I love you’

I grabbed the needle

It felt so familiar

An old and terrible friend

My arm, my thighs, even between my toes

Looking at the bruised purple and green

I began to cry, again

‘YOU NEED ME!!!’

I can’t anymore.

My art makes me depressed

The mere thought of creating something new finds despair

It wasn’t always this way

It seems to be in recent years, the will to create has not been with me

I look back at the volumes of work I have created

Mundane, inspirational and surprising are words that come to mind

There are books of paper and Bristol board, canvases and watercolor paper sitting blank

Paints and brushes have not been exercised in a long while

Maybe writing these words will create inspiration?

Possibly staring at the blank canvas that has been sitting on my easel

Will it bring a dream to life?

I begin to remember when I created endlessly

Life was simple

Life was most times lonely

Inspiration came from such solitude

I had a place to create

In my heart and in my home

A place is necessary

A place I no longer have

To create, I need to create a place.

It was a love that hurt

Her touch burned my soul with a passion

I shall never forget

Maturity comes from such love

It is true that a man’s heart needs to feel pain and loss

To understand the gentle wisdom that comes from it

Some choose to learn from the pain

Others lie lost in disillusion

Of their idea of love

I will not be here much longer

My life has been full of experience and insights

The memories, joys, and sorrows have been numerous

I have loved

And yes, indeed hated in my lifetime

Regrets have been with me as a lifetime companion

It is actually true to regret and not regret at the same time

The women I have loved have been creative, incredible and beautiful

Some are also the women I have hurt so badly

I pray that I have created insight and inspiration

In the lives of the people I have met and have counseled

As days dwindle and I spend most of my time in deep reflection

Memories flow endlessly

Memories of the moments that have changed me

Memories that have defined me

I pray, my daughters to find moments like these

Curiosity and love are the gifts I have found to be my truth

Curiosity, as it affords me answers that most never question

Love, for this, is the absolute basis of life itself

My last words

Are to question everything that you do not understand or disagree with

Be curious about life and human nature

There is a story behind everyone’s actions

And

Love

Love the moments you witness

Feel the life that happens around you

A woman once said to me

There is a moment in each day that you can change the world

I found this to be absolutely true.

Life is conversation

The friendly hello and chit-chat at the check-out line

Life is looking someone in the eyes when talking to them

The understanding of the fear to do so

And to do it anyway

Conversation is what defines us

To speak our minds

No

To speak our hearts

We need to breathe first

Letting our words fill our mouth before letting them out

It is about a measure of speaking

The fear to have deep conversations

Holds us back from our very growth

The fear to speak and listen with our hearts

Keeps us from being part of life itself

Yes

Have conversation

What is left

After all the promises were kept

What is left

After all the promises were not

The stark light of day responds

Not caring

Your lonely night with what was

Sits in the air like not enough oxygen

When the pieces fall apart

We try to gather them up

But the puzzle does not fit the same

A single deep breath

A lingering tear

We begin to make new pieces for the puzzle

And look for another promise

Today I remembered your weakness

The last days of your well-controlled life

Was it not so controlled

You warned me about what you had been

You cautioned me about the terrors you had seen

The terrors you had caused

Your fragile breath rattled the words

Your wrinkled and trembling hand that held mine

Sadness was not with me then

Experience had not been my companion

As it was yours

With insight and understanding, I see your tragic sadness

I sit here with your memory

With the memories of your force and focused rage

They no longer affect me the way they had before

I pray you are at peace

From you, I have learned what is good.

I know the pain you are going to feel soon

Understanding that this is a road that life has presented you

Do not hide from the painful growth that is inevitable

I love you whenever and wherever you are or will be

Your journey will test you and push your soul

When the rocks seem insurmountable

And the trail you find yourself on filled with deep trenches

Remember I know you are stronger than you believe

You are right now finding your self for the first time

It can feel like a terribly lonely place

But you’re not alone

You are never alone.

Found folded in an old book in my bookshelf. No date.