at the edge of change

Looking back I have two distinctive moments when I spoke with God. The first was in the beautiful state of Maine. I had hit what was the lowest point in my life. my marriage had ended, to all fault of my own. I was between jobs and staying with friends. I think that’s called ‘couch surfing.’ I was miserable, lost and feeling completely alone.

One morning I drove to Schoodic Point, one of the most beautiful places in Maine or anywhere else for that matter. I got out of the car and spent the next several hours walking the rocky beach alone, weighing my options. Some were permanent if you know what I mean. At one point I stood at the edge of a cliff looking down at the crashing surf below. tears welled in my eyes and i began to sob uncontrollably.

Looking to the gray overcast sky I said aloud: ‘God, I am not asking you for help. I’m not asking you for a sign or a reprieve from this pain. I surrender my self to you. whatever you have in store for me I accept. I can no longer do this alone.’

A moment after I stopped speaking a wind came up from nowhere and pushed my back a few steps. I stepped forward and looked again at the surf below. ‘Not today’ I thought to myself. Weeks later I began my career in psychiatry and for almost 30 years I have helped children and adults overcome their fears, their pain and move on to a happier life.

After moving from Maine to my home state of Connecticut I found myself struggling at the career I had loved when living in Maine. Life was different here, less spiritual, more commercial and fast-paced. I began to become jaded to the work I was doing. At one point I realized I was again, standing at the edge. I needed to find myself again and make a hard decision on where I wanted to continue my life. Again I did not ask for help. I just allowed myself to become empty and accepting.

Today with my amazing and beautiful wife of 13 years, we have begun a mutual journey to help families become financially secure and happier in their lives. I will always have the need to help others, and in our new business we are able to effect a most positive and long lasting change that helps out them and their future generations.

Sometimes we find ourselves at the edge of change. Most just turn around and continue to accept what is the norm in their lives, as unhappy as it is. and for a few that stand to face the change and accept the new journey, life can become glorious!