Author: TheDon McCoy

She sat for a moment at the edge of my dream. A floating face with eyes so very blue.

Then her words began to spill into my mind. She repeated them in different structures but always the same message. 

Tell my mom I feel her love, and I feel her sorrow. Tell her that in the moments when she realizes she had not been thinking of me, to not be sad. Those are the moments where I feel her the most. It is in those moments where I know she is content with herself and her life.

All I want is your happiness and peace. I am well and content in the quiet moments in her life, and mine here. Continue to think of me with love and peace, as I do you. Tears of happiness and of sorrow evaporate to me as I feel you with every breath. I am always here. Live and love as this is the greatest honor you can give me.

Forever yours.

i live with moments of regrets

there are moments of sadness

moments of love

and moments of laughter

to equal the tears of sorrow

there is no other way to travel on your own path

this is always about the journey

the destination is but the end of one journey

and the beginning of another

how we live our lives in this world

determines what our next journey will mean.

What is happiness?

An elusive word fraught with misunderstanding and conjecture

It is subjective to countless variations and understandings

Is happiness

a simple concept that few ever truly achieve?

Is it at the expense of others?

True happiness is a simple concept

Few have ever experienced

It is often momentary

A child’s laughter

A mother looking at her child as a new developmental milestone is achieved

The simple moment when a complete stranger helps a less fortunate person

Happiness is so very simple

But it needs to be shared to be experienced.

It is that simple.

Heather rang to doorbell to the shelter. She was shivering from the cold and shaking from the trauma she just experienced. Tears fell from her eyes in rivers. Sobbing she waited for someone to open the door. I was walking by when I hear the door and went to answer.

Heather looked at me then lowered her eyes. Her face was scratched, and her clothes were torn at the knees and elbows. Heather came in and followed me to the day room. Several other kids were in there, watching TV and playing the Nintendo. A mixture of Eminem and Megadeth played from two boomboxes.

I sat a moment with her before bringing her to the nurse to be looked over. Asking her what happened, Heather said her father threw her out of the house because she didn’t get along with his new girlfriend. She picked at the sores on her hand which appeared raw and new. Not completely understanding what she just said, I asked her how she got the cuts and bruises.

“You don’t understand. My dad threw me out of the house.” Heather saw me still not realizing the gravity of her description, she said He LITERALLY THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE ONTO THE STREET! with a volume enough to call the attention of others in the shelter. My heart sank as I fought back my own tears.

To all the people that have chosen colors

Either Blue         Or Red

Bravo

To all that have chosen an animal

Either a Donkey               Or Elephant

You are fulfilling an agenda

On how to divide and control

Our country

If you have hatred in your heart

If you think you are superior to others

You have already lost

Look in the mirror for five minutes

There you will find the source

Of what is wrong with this country.

I sit back and watch the country

Witnessing the hatred

Watching the divide increase

It is like watching a badly scripted movie

Or a satirical play

It has become so easy to push people

To make them believe

the agenda you feed them

it is so very simple to drive a wedge

between seemingly sane people

to instill fear and hatred

I sit back and watch the masses

Blame each other

For issues they don’t even understand

Blindly following

Blindly destroying

What we thought once stood for

I sit back and watch

As they fight the very change they desire

We’ve been here before

With devastating consequences

We will be here again.

Sometimes the environment changes and that which we love to do no longer appears desirable. Often trying to recreate the environment disrupts the new and it no longer feels the same or conducive to creating as it once did. A shadow of one’s former self emerges. Lost and fleeting with all that is left are memories of once before.

DM 2021

We used to believe I the better angels of our nature,

No longer do we… believe.

We used to honor our lives as precious and fleeting

No longer do we…

We used to understand our inner darkness,

Now we accept the devils of our nature

Time has ended

And no one noticed.

2021

I’ve been on this planet for sixty-five years. Sorrow and tears have been my companion for most of it. It seems that happiness and laughter have always been fleeting memories. I cherish my emotions, deep and moving through my heart and soul.

Many have attempted to dull the intensity of their emotions from fear of their depth and intensity rather than feeling. Accepting life is to accept the laughter and the tears and to move through our journey with them.

Find your happiness rather than perfection. Find joy rather than mundane. If you find yourself stuck and not feeling, move, breathe and learn to trust the adventure before you. We create our own journey with every step, with every breath and with every tear that falls in joy ot sorrow. Be not afraid.

I once talked with a neighbor, in the apartment house I lived in, who was in an abusive relationship. Months went by with me seeing her with black eyes, bloody lip and all. The coward never showed up when I was in my apartment. He would drive away if he saw my car in the driveway. I never had the chance to confront him…

One day I asked her why she kept allowing him back. Her response saddened me greatly. ‘I would rather be abused than be alone.’ We had many conversations after that moment. She realized later that her abuse and trauma had started many years before. Her recovery was beautiful.

We cannot begin to fix ourselves until we begin to realize the patterns in our history and the history of our family, have the courage to face our fears and ask for help.

#remain curious #have the courage to understand