MOMENTS

The room was dark when I walked in. it was a stark contrast to the hallway and the nurse’s stations which were bathed in bright fluorescent light. She sat in her hospital bed, looking small and weak. A faint smile crossed her face when she saw me. I was there to do a psychiatric assessment. She was there to continue her treatment for her cancer. I call it her cancer because it becomes something personal, like an old bitter enemy living inside gnawing away at her moment by moment.

The TV was on with the volume low. Ironically the show was a rerun of House. We spoke about her life a bit. I did my assessment. She had been working in the legal system for most of her life. She was well educated and successful. The air in the room seemed so very heavy. I felt her sadness. I felt her sense of loss. There are no words for this. I usually conduct my assessment, thank the patient and then leave. But I couldn’t this time. We sat and talked. We sat and talked about the little things in life, about family and about growing up. We talked about what matters to her in this moment in the darkroom with only the TV on low.

There are no problems or situations in life that cannot be overcome. Sitting with this lovely and sad woman, I realized that. I also realized that It’s not how big your house is or how much money you have. It is ultimately about love, and conversations and about connections we make in this world.