POISON ARROWS

January 16, 2001

Dear Sir or Madam,

It was the softness of your touch; your gaze into my soul that heeded me to understanding and friendship first. Before our hearts warmed with love, and yes, lusts of our physical bodies. Upon lying down of our hearts and bodies, we chose the journey that would bring pain and sorrow in the end. This pain and sorrow that had a choice to visit. Upon you, it would always be, upon you it would manifest through your children in sadness and misunderstanding. However, upon me or upon him, which was safest? Which was the most beneficial and desired?

I visit now more than again, the sorrow that you chose to bestow upon me. This letting go has been tough, no, it has truly been hell. I sit wondering if you are truly happy with your decision. If you are content with keeping your children happy and ‘safe’ from the sorrow that is inevitable, as you really were not happy with that life, ever. You looked at me that one last time, tears welled in your eyes. You knew that it was the touch between us. Without the touch, we drifted like fairies in the gale wind. The deception was effective. Was it your intention to create this evil casting upon two men in your life? On the other hand, are you so frightened by necessary change that you run screaming in fear from what was inevitable? Me, I think the latter.

So much for that. I only wanted a word, an answer, a message in the bottle of your heart that you are alright and that what we shared meant something to you, even if you chose to sever it completely. Just a word of understanding and compassion to what had occurred between us. I am alone to pick up the pieces of heart and soul that you lay scatter to hard and unforgiving earth. Like a puzzle, I try to interlock the meanings and messages that you, in your silence offer to me. Peace upon you and your desires, may you find them one day intact and still wanting.

Sincerely,

A friend.

(found among old papers and poems once written in an age long gone by)