Joyce was sitting on her bed when I walked in. Her white hair and blue eyes shined from the sun coming in the window of her room in the Nursing Home. She was ninety years old. We made some small talk before she looked up at me and asked if I was real or just her imagination. Joyce had recently been diagnosed with dementia. After I told her I was indeed real, she smiled and said “I don’t want to live anymore. Really, I don’t care if I live or die.”
I sat there with her words repeating in my head. I had often echoed her words in the past. I truly understood where her words were coming from. It is emptiness and a loneliness that permeates the very soul. In her case, she was brought to a nursing home after her children were not able to care for her. She has significant memory problems and cognitive issues that make caring for herself difficult and at times a safety issue.
I sat with her for a while and listened as she had difficulty staying on one topic. As I rose to leave, she asked me if she would see me again. There was a sadness and a wanting in her lovely blue eyes.
The Journey of a thousand miles 