novel

Marcus listened to the words his daughter spoke. He asked her to repeat them. With tears in her eyes, she told him again that his best friend had committed suicide the night before. His friend Marshall had been isolating for the past few weeks. Each time Marcus went to visit, Marshall would not let him is. He said he was sick the first few times, and then he would not even answer the door. Marcus sat the feeling cold and empty. He hugged his daughter as she cried.

Days later Marcus still felt his loss and sadness for his friend. Marcus knew he needed to leave his apartment, but didn’t have the energy to even get off his couch.  Old reruns of MASH played silently on his television. So much in his life had changed from his past days. He had happiness then. He felt he belonged. The past few months in his apartment was depressing. The job he had loved so much had become mundane. Or was it that he had lost the desire to interact and be part of what his life meant before? Marcus knew the answer, but could not act on it.

You need to get outside and talk with friends, get out of this funk you’re in, he told himself. But he didn’t move. The TV was still casting its silent images and afternoon light tried to fill the room from the only small window in his living room. Marcus felt the heaviness pushing him deeper into his deepening pit of depression. It was then that he began to understand what his friend had gone through before taking his life. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Marcus began to cry.

__excerpt from NOVEL (2018)