THE DIFFERENCE

I earned my Master’s in Psychology and Counseling in 2004. I have been in the field since 1989. In the beginning, I had a dream of making a difference in the world, to learn about human nature and learn how to create a way to change people’s lives and enlighten them to a better way of life. Such grand dreams I had.

Twenty-eight years, I find that I have had revelations on human nature, including my own. Twenty-eight years later, I have become jaded over and over to the work that I have (been?) chosen to do. I was taught to help people work on their problems, to overcome their problems, to ‘move past’ their problems. In reality, at least for me, this is so very tiring. It is like Sisyphus, pushing a boulder up a hill.

I have a new client that I had met briefly and she has decided to work with me. I don’t want to work on her problem (Bulimia and depression). My goal is to help her recreate herself and hopefully become the person that is hiding deep inside of herself. To me, the diagnosis is a label covering the true self. Her behaviors are effectively keeping hidden the woman inside. I want to work with that woman, not the disorder, not the immediate behaviors.

This excites me, this journey that I will travel with her on is enlightening. I hope she will be willing to explore her story and begin to rewrite it. An anonymous person once said: “When writing the story of your life, never let anyone else hold the pen.” Maybe others held the pen when her life was written. I sit here at my desk listening to Be Inspired videos on YouTube. I realize that working in the way I want with my clients brings creativity, it brings mindfulness both to my understanding of them and how they respond to my work. It also brings a renewed discipline to seek the closed doors and slowly open them.

We may only initially peek inside and then close the door. But we will hopefully eventually open those doors and find that the pain that was suspect behind them, it really not there. I await the Satori moments that come from the work and growing fearlessness in finding that beautiful hidden person inside.